Philly Front Office

Great news everyone! The dumpster fire that is New York professional football continues to burn. With their inexplicable win last week against the trying-but-comically-failing-to-make-the-playoffs Indianapolis Colts (and “genius” Chris Ballard) the Giants lost the lead for the top spot in the draft. With the competition only tiny specks in their rearview mirror, a full tank of gas, good night sleep, and nothing but great road conditions, the Giants violently jerked the wheel and swerved off the road to the #1 pick.

It can’t be stressed enough how stupid that win was last week. First round draft order is determined by record and then strength of schedule. The Giants lose the SOS tiebreaker to everyone close to them except the Chicago Bears. They NEEDED to have the worst record. Instead, going into the final week of the season they sit behind New England, Cleveland, and Tennessee despite having the same 3 wins. Even worse is if the Giants beat the resting Eagles this week. Jacksonville, Carolina, Las Vegas, and the Jets are all poised to jump a 4-win Giants team leaving the G-Men picking 8th.

UPDATE: With Cleveland losing last night, they officially finished with a worse record than the Giants, eliminating them from #1 pick contention.

Why does this matter besides being funny? The Giants desperately need a QB. It has been a mess at the top spot since before Eli Manning retired. Remember in 2017 when the Giants benched Manning for Geno Smith despite him literally never missing a game for them, then going back to Manning the entire next season before attempting to draft his replacement? That replacement, guaranteed bust Daniel Jones in 2019. Jones was bad from the jump but because he won a single division game in 2022 and had a tie, the Giants made the playoffs and rewarded Jones with an extension. Jones then got hurt, resumed sucking, and was released in favor of a guy known as Tommy Cutlets. It’s going great.

You don’t need to pick #1 or #2 to get a great QB, but it sure helps. This year the top two guys are Cam Ward of Miami and Shadeur Sanders of Colorado. They are almost guaranteed to be the top two picks off the board. Of the worst 8 teams in the league, Tennessee, Las Vegas, and the Jets need a QB as desperately as the Giants with Cleveland and their QB woes right there too. If those teams don’t finish in the top 2 they will need to trade up with the teams that do. This creates a perfect storm for the Giants to either miss out on the top guys and overdraft a QB again, trade up giving away draft equity that they really need to supplement their sub-par roster, or just punt the season away in hopes that they land Arch Manning next season. All great options!

What to look for today?

• New England (#1) faces Buffalo in what should be a walk except Buffalo likely won’t play their starters too long if at all. That organization is too smart to win this game though. Expect the Patriots to put a FOR SALE: Brand New #1 Pick sign in their front lawn on Monday.
• Tennessee (#2) faces a similar not-much-to-play-for opponent in Houston, but apparently the Texan starters will go a couple series. This is probably the best shot at an upset this week.
• Jacksonville (#5) plays at Indy in a battle of two teams with absolutely nothing to live for. Both organizations will go through front office massacres by Monday.
• Carolina (#6) is frisky and playing well despite racking up losses, but they are playing a motivated Falcons team in Atlanta. This one will be fun.
• The Dolphins are playing a must-win game at Met-Life against the Jets (#7) in what should be Aaron Rodgers final game in NY. The Dolphins are playing without Tua and in the deep freeze. Everything above about the Giants applies to the Jets for the most part and it would be a final turd-in-a-box gift from Rodgers to Jets fans winning this one. Bet the house.
• The Raiders (#8) play the nothing-to-play-for Chargers in Vegas today. The Raiders are bad and should still lose this one. They have been living in QB hell somehow worse than the Giants. They just seem like the team that gets Sanders, right?
• Lastly, the Giants (#4) play at Philly. Even without Saquan and the starters, it will still be hard for the Giants to win this one. It would be hilarious if they did though.

One final note, Brian Daboll should have been fired in the locker room after last week’s win. He had one job and he failed (remember the Joe Judge QB sneak on 3rd and long deep in their own territory? That’s how it’s done). They almost have to keep him another year if he wins today. His replacement will be better than him by default (you can’t get worse) and will likely win a few more games taking them out of the Arch Manning sweepstakes. They will really need to bottom the fuck out next year and that won’t happen without Daboll. What a trainwreck. They went from the #1 spot to possibly #8 in two weeks. Keep up the great work guys!