Philly Front Office

We go through this every year. It could be the stress of society’s expectations or maybe we’ve just been together so long and we take each other for granted. Whatever it is, every year I need a series or two break from the Phillies. This has been going on for me since the days of Tom Gordon and I think this time apart ultimately keeps our relationship strong. The Phillies and I are never getting a divorce (I’m from South Jersey and have kids, what would the neighbors think???).

As a whole, it has always felt like the city of Philadelphia has a dedicated marriage with the Eagles but engages in passionate but unbelievably toxic affairs with the Phillies every once in a while.¹ These affairs often leave both sides wanting nothing to do with each other, but something always brings back the spark.

For me though, I’m married to the Phillies.² I see them and think about them every day. We make plans together and I can’t imagine my life without them. If they aren’t there that day because they are traveling for work, I don’t sleep the same. They are my rock. But, like all marriages, sometimes we are just not on the same page. After a few weeks of that, we have a fight. I kick them out of the house and refuse to talk to them until they promise to change. They say they are getting their bullpen right and they’ll stop chasing outside pitches, but I know they won’t. I mean, if they can’t score with the bases loaded and no outs, then how am I supposed to believe in them??? That’s what I tell myself, but I know them and myself too well. Eventually they’ll score some runs and bring me home a few quality wins and I come running back. I know they care, but they just can’t help themselves. Why can’t they be like that all the time?

Last week they were out all night with those awful Mets. Anytime the Mets are good, they bait the Phillies into their nonsense and it never goes well. I saw it coming too. For the last two weeks they just hadn’t been themselves. Then sure enough the Mets took advantage. I warned them when they were playing the Marlins that they needed to get it together, but they blew me off. Still, I stayed by their side. After losing in 10 on Wednesday though, that was enough. I told them not to come home. The Eagles had a big weekend getting ready for next year and I did not want the Phillies around to mess it up.

When the Phillies won on Saturday, I refused to watch. On Sunday, I refused to watch again. Even though they were a little angry about that, they won again. I couldn’t help myself though; I did check them out on Gamecast in extras. They must have known because they scored twice with no outs and the bases loaded. It’s the little things that show me they are at least trying. That’s what I needed. I texted them late last night that today I wanted to talk. They can come back home tomorrow, but I need to be able to trust them again. I need them to focus. Swinging on balls two feet out of the zone while taking strikes right down the middle has to stop. Don’t take out pitchers who are cruising for relievers ready to lay down. They promised they’d fix the leaky bullpen too. And for God’s sake, can we get some more home runs? Is that too much to ask?

We’ll see how they do. They aren’t perfect, but at least for a few weeks and sometimes months they can pull it together and show me the team that I know they can be. Deep down, they have flaws. I know that. So do I though. That’s why we will never get a divorce. I just love them too much.

1. The Sixers are the ex that you really hope gets themselves together and the Flyers are like the secret other family ↩︎
2. The other 3 are like our kids. The Eagles are the overachiever who does everything right (but might be hanging out with the wrong crowd today, we’ll see what choices they make), the Sixers are the lazy underachieving kid who doesn’t understand why his half assed work ethic never works out, and the Flyers are the youngest child who always seems to get a pass and I don’t quite understand. ↩︎