I don’t play fantasy football anymore and I don’t gamble (come get your JoeyBets here!), so what the hell am I supposed to do with the rest of my Sundays when it’s not Eagles time? Encourage pain upon my enemies of course! Here is your Eagles focused rooting guide for the rest of the weekly NFL slate:
1pm Games
- Green Bay Packers at Cleveland Browns
- The Packers just replaced the Eagles as the odds on favorite to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl. They also started this whole bullshit dialogue about the Tush Push.1 Whether you want to pick apart their weaknesses, get worried, or just openly hate at them, they are our most hated team this year and need all of our scorn.
- The Browns stink and should be looking to sell come the trade deadline. They will likely lose, but we need to look for David Njoku and Denzel Ward to possibly improve our team.
- Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans
- Danny Dimes is impressing all the time lately! It’s almost like the Giants were a festering scab of an organization that has no idea how to use or train their talent. He still stinks, but anytime someone leaves North Jersey and improves, we get to point and laugh.
- Much like the Browns, the Titans are bad and should be looking to acquire draft picks. CB Roger McCreary and TE Chig Onkwonko are the only young guys that they might be willing to part with.
- Cincinnati Bengals at Minnesota Vikings
- The Bengals are dead, they just don’t know it yet. They have no intention of selling, but with losses will come anger, and anger will lead to changes. I’m sure they would still entertain a Trey Hendrickson trade if he starts getting mad about the team’s situation.
- Unfortunately, this is probably also true for the Vikings. They bet big this year on JJ McCarthy and now he’s hurt (again) and possibly not any good. Minny spent a ton this off season on complimentary pieces. They are in a tough division and are already behind the 8 ball. For both teams, just look for who is the maddest person on the field. If it’s anyone but Ja’Marr Chase or Justin Jefferson, they could be available for trade.
- Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots
- Yikes. I really thought I could find a reason to watch anything, but Aaron Rodgers versus New England is only fun it ends in a tie. He’s the most talented disappointment of my lifetime while they are Boston. No need for elaboration. Equal levels of hatred is no reason to put this game on.
- New York Jets at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- You can’t get anywhere in this league without a QB and the Jets found themselves ready to contend without one. It doesn’t get worse than that. All of their players are either high level talents or bums. We all know a Jets fan though. Be entertained by their sadness.
- The Eagles play the Bucs next week. They will be without Tristan Wirfs and Chris Godwin this week, but both will likely be there next week. This one is pure scouting.
- Las Vegas Raiders at Washington Commanders
- Geno Smith stinks but he’s facing Marcus Mariota. The Raiders will not be sellers because they are a dumb organization and Pete Carroll is a million years old. Just root for them to win.
- … because we need the Commanders to lose. No Jayden Daniels this week and that’s a problem. Outside of the QB there is simply not much young talent on this team. It would be shocking if they are even close to competent without him.
- Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers
- Oh no, another one I’m struggling with. The Falcons are frisky so they aren’t sellers and the Panthers barely exist. There is no reason to even watch a highlight of this game.
- Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars
- The Texans need to get right against the Jags. If they can’t though, they are looking at a tough run up to the trade deadline that includes Baltimore, Seattle, SF, and Denver. They could be looking at 1-7, which might not be out of it for the terrible AFC South, but does make them a non-contender. The guy I am looking at is Danielle Hunter. At nearly 31, he is still a very productive pass rusher. He has a big contract, but nothing crazy. Despite being under contract for another year, they could get legitimate assets for his talents right now.
- I have nothing to really hate about the Jags, so I will use this spot to rant about the QB Rankings of The Ringer and Steven Ruiz. Lawerence is ranked just below Jalen Hurts this week at 15th. CJ Stroud is ranked 8th. Watch both struggle but still get ranked ahead of Hurts come next week’s update.
4pm Games
- Denver Broncos at Los Angeles Chargers
- With the Chiefs struggling, this is a legit early season test for both teams. If you hate the Chiefs (which you do), the Chargers winning is for the best since it will put an early season chokehold on the defending Super Bowl losers.
- HOWEVER, if you hate the Justin Herbert is the greatest thing since torn bread narrative, you want him to struggle against a real defense. Personally, I hate that everyone just ignores that Herbert has choked big time in every big game because he has cool hair, so I will be rooting for Denver here.
- New Orleans Saints at Seattle Seahawks
- The Saints are already on life support and the prognosis is bad. There is not much talent on this roster to vulture, but tight end Juwan Johnson might be someone to keep an eye on as a Dallas Goedert backup this year and replacement next year, despite his age. This team is just counting the minutes until the draft.
- The Seahawks are the only defeated team in their division at the moment, but they have a ton of talent. There’s no chance they lose this one though. I am hoping for an early season swoon to pilfer some of their secondary talent, but it does not look like that is going to happen.
- Dallas Cowboys at Chicago Bears
- Always root against the Cowboys
- The Bears were hoping for an early season new coach bounce. Instead, they have just gone splat. They look bad and now their best player, CB Jaylon Johnson is probably out for the year. Tight End Cole Kmet is on my radar, so we should be hoping he does absolutely nothing. Why? Because that means that he is sunk on the depth chart behind rookie Colston Loveland and needs to be available. He just seems like the right guy to target for the Birds
- Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers
- Arizona isn’t really a surprise 2-0 considering they started against maybe the two worst teams in the league, but we are all rooting for them against the 49ers.
- We all obviously want the 49ers to lose, but if they happen to win then that might make S Budda Baker that much more available. Baker has been a regular target of the Eagles, but usually parlays that interest into a contract extension instead of a trade. He signed a new deal last year that has nothing guaranteed after this season. If the Cardinals fly south, the rumors will probably heat up again.
Sunday Night
- Kansas City Chiefs at New York Giants
- Don’t you hate it when two teams you want to lose are playing each other? Ok, this one is tricky. Sadly, we are rooting for the Giants here even though they are the Giants. an 0-3 Chiefs teams would be wonderful. That’s probably not going to happen though. Instead, we will get an 0-3 Giants team inching ever closer to benching Russell Wilson for Jaxson Dart. The best realistic outcome here is Wilson playing well and the Giants still losing. I just want the worst situation possible for the team once they eventually make the switch.
Monday Night
- Detroit Lions at Baltimore Ravens
- This is just a good football game, but it is not without its Eagles angle. When in doubt, root for the AFC. The Lions were supposed to be our rival, but after losing to Washington in the playoffs and getting surpassed by the Packers, did they miss their window? Would not mind Baltimore laying the blueprint for Detroit’s demise.
- The Packers involvement in this is weird. They do not have an owner. I am not saying they don’t make decisions, but it is easy for the Packers to act as the surrogate for NFL agenda because there is no owner to look bad. Yes, we hate the Packers, but it is really the NFL that is squirrel mastering the anti-Tush Push agenda. ↩︎
Philly Front Office 
Leave a comment