I don’t play fantasy football anymore and I don’t gamble, so what the hell am I supposed to do with the rest of my Sunday when it’s not Eagles time? Encourage pain upon my enemies of course and look to sell their bones! Here is your Eagles focused rooting guide for the weekly NFL slate:
Sunday Morning
- Minnesota Vikings at (?) Pittsburgh Steelers (9:30a)
- I’m not the biggest Aaron Rodgers fan in the world, but it is going to be funny when he rips the Vikings hearts out again in a new uniform and in a different country. Some things never change.
- It’s probably because I’m an old man, but I hate the Thursday games. All weeknights are identical at my age, and I can’t train my brain to remember that there is a random game during the week. It’s different with the Sunday morning NFL Europe games though. Maybe it’s that there’s a 50% chance the Jaguars are playing, but the stakes always seem so low. Every team has to play on Thursday, but only teams that don’t matter play in Europe for the most part. So, while I always feel annoyed that I’m missing something on Thursdays, Sunday morning football is like a nice little treat. Maybe I will get myself some donuts to make it official.
1 PM Games
- Washington Commanders at Atlanta Falcons
- Terry McLaurin is probably out and Jayden Daniels is banged up. Washington got lucky as hell to have these injuries while facing the Raiders and then the sad sack Falcons. Still, we need the division rival to lose whenever possible.
- HOWEVER…the Falcons dropping to 1-3 would be great for trade purposes. They are not a contender and have been very sloppy with draft picks. Terry Fontenot is one of the worst GMs in the league but even he has to see that selling at the deadline is the best path, right?1 I have my eyes on AJ Terrell and Jessie Bates.
- New Orleans Saints at Buffalo Bills
- Brace yourself for all of the Josh Allen hype that will come out of this one when he puts up a Peyton Manning-esque stat line with more TDs than incompletions. The Bills have a joke of a schedule by the way. Yes, they played Baltimore, have the Chiefs next month, and the Eagles after Christmas, but other than a mid-November date with Tampa the rest of their schedule is cupcakes. They play all 4 of those harder opponents at home too. Their out of conference division is the NFC South which should probably be contracted minus the Bucs. What a joke!
- If it wasn’t for playing 4 games against the Falcons and Panthers, the Saints would have a legit shot at going unvictorious. They need that #1 pick bad too. Luckily, they don’t play their softer part of the schedule until the second half, so there is plenty of time for them to trade every vet with a contract.
- Cleveland Browns at Detroit Lions
- The Browns are fresh off the upset of the year against the Packers, but should get their junk kicked in by the Lions. Just let them lose and fulfill their destiny as a trade deadline seller. Denzel Ward, I’m looking in your direction!
- I know they lost to the Packers, but I have it in my head that the Lions are better. Both teams have a QB I don’t trust at all in a big game, but let’s use this one as a scouting assignment to see what we are in for come mid-November.
- Carolina Panthers at New England Patriots
- I keep looking at the Panthers roster and don’t see anyone worth knowing. They have to have someone interesting for the trade deadline though, right? Going to get the monocle out to really study them. BTW, we want them to win. Even if that will take them to .500, they know they don’t have a chance.
- We want the Patriots to lose, but not just because they are near Boston and we hate their fans. They spent freely this off season in an attempt to jumpstart their way into contention. We want them to lose so they sell at the deadline. Hunter Henry maybe? Nevermind, they don’t really have anything to sell. Let’s just stick to wanting them to lose for the Boston thing.
- Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants
- The Chargers have one difficult non-divisional game all season and this ain’t it (they play us on December 8). Expect Herbert to continue to rack up his empty stats on bad defenses this week so everyone gets lured into his false sense of hope come playoff time. Man, I irrationally hate that guy.
- We may hate the Giants, but it is for that very reason that we MUST pay attention to Jaxson Dart and his first start. How he performs will shape the next 5 years of Giants football. The last time they drafted a first round QB, it set the franchise back almost a decade basically. Have faith in Brian Daboll and Joe Schoen! Just kidding.
- Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans
- Let’s go Titans! Their team slogan has to be Titan Up, right? I don’t want to do the research because it is too on the nose not to be true. Anyway, I need the Eagles to trade for Danielle Hunter so the Texans need to lose. It’s that simple. If they lose this one, they are on the path to 1-7. Cam Ward, I believe in you. Get that first win. You know CJ Stroud is looking past you and is itching to give you that negative hug after the game. You got this!
3 PM Baseball
- New York Mets at Miami Marlins
- It all comes down to this for Mets and the billion dollars they spent last off season. A loss and they’re out. A win means they need the Reds to lose. If you’ve ever heard the term “schadenfreude” before and wondered what it meant, it’s this game for Philly fans.
- Cincinnati Reds at Milwaukee Brewers
- A win and the Reds are in at the expense of the Mets. Because if the Phillies loss last night, the Brewers are locked into the #1 seed and have nothing to play for. Roll over Brew Crew!!!
4 PM Games
- Indianapolis Colts at Los Angeles Rams
- Are the Colts the flimsiest undefeated team ever come week 4? That’s some serious hyperbole, but crushing Miami and Tennessee is one thing, while beating the Rams is completely different. I’m rooting for you Danny Dimes, but you will be running for your life all day.
- It sure did feel good to shut Jarod Verse up last week. The Rams are good though, no doubt about it. Between the Lions, Packers, and Rams, we are going to have to go through at least one of them in the playoffs
- Jacksonville Jaguars at San Francisco 49ers
- The Jags are a nice 2-1 right now, but they will probably lose their next 4 games putting them right into our crosshairs for the trade deadline. Who could they trade? Tyson Campbell, Travon Walker, Josh Hines-Allen…they all could move for one reason or another. Jacksonville seems like a team less talented than the sum of its parts.
- Beating the Seahawks in Seattle to start the season was impressive, but squeaking by the Saints and Cardinals these last two weeks was lucky as hell. They have an easy schedule all season long with only the Rams twice and Tampa in their way of making the playoffs despite what should be a down season. Even though we want Jacksonville to lose for trade purposes, we cannot root for SF.
- Baltimore Ravens at Kansas City Chiefs
- The schedule makers gave Baltimore a gauntlet to start the season but they should be able to handle the suddenly very vulnerable Chiefs. Even if they drop to 1-3, they will be able to easily make that up over the rest of the year. This seems like a much bigger game than it really is. Better than the rest of the 4p garbage though.
- That being said, Baltimore, please step on their f***ing throats. I want these bunch of entitled crybaby losers to fail as much as possible.
- Chicago Bears at Las Vegas Raiders (Backup Tight End Trade Deadline Game of the Week)
- The Bears have 2 young tight ends. The Eagles need to take Cole Kmet off their hands. Let’s go Colston Loveland! Montez Sweet would be nice too. Unfortunately, this is a dumb management group that probably thinks it is ready to compete after torching Dallas last week.
- The Raiders also have 2 young tight ends. The Eagles need to take Michael Mayer off their hands. Let’s go Brock Bowers! Both these teams need to do the smart thing and get rid of one of their backup TEs and give them to us. Mayer might not play this week due to injury though. No big deal, more targets for Bowers.
Sunday Night
- Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys
- We might not like either team, but this is an ideal Sunday night matchup with Micah Parsons going back to Dallas for the first time. I wonder how Dallas fans are going to greet him? This whole situation was entirely the making of Jerry Jones, but Dallas fans are some of the least knowledgeable and deluded in the NFL. Will they just side with ownership because that’s all they know? Probably.
- The Packers are fresh off a nice bit of humiliation at the hands of the Browns. After Las Vegas and the Packers themselves started deep throating all of their own hype, it was nice to see them lose that trap game. Jordan Love is not that good, and the Cowboys have some opportunistic corners. If they can snag some of Love’s errant throws, this could be a fun one.
Monday Night Games
- New York Jets at Miami Dolphins (7:15p)
- These teams stink. Seriously, both are going nowhere. While Aaron Glenn kind of made a fool of himself last week, he is at least new to the head coaching ranks. Mike McDaniel on the other hand might get fired with a loss. That alone is reason enough to watch this one. They are a car crash waiting to happen.
- Car crashes are fun and all, but there are a few more reasons to watch: Bradley Chubb, Jaelan Phillips, and Minkah Fitzpatrick should all be traded in the next 6 weeks. Phillips especially would be a great addition to the Eagles pass rush while still being on his rookie contract. They need to get something for him while they can because extending him amidst the need of a total team overhaul is silly. If they lose, I’m going to write about the tough choices they need to make. This is a rudderless team that is getting worse, not better.
- Cincinatti Bengals at Denver Broncos
- Week 1 post-Joe Burrow went about as well as you thought it would. The Bengals are headed down hill fast thanks to years of gross mismanagement. After Denver they have Detroit and Green Bay, so 2-1 will turn into 2-4 real quick. Who is interesting on the Bengals? TE Noah Fant, DE Trey Hendrickson, CB Dax Hill, and DE Myles Murphy. It’s the Bengals though, so they probably won’t trade any of them (but they absolutely need to trade Hendrickson).
- The Broncos are a couple of breaks from being 3-0 but sit 1-2 with a date in Philadelphia next week. For scouting purposes alone, this game is a must watch, but I really just want to know what this team is. Does anyone really know if they are good? I have a friend who is a Broncos fan (let’s call him L. Brofsky…wait, that’s too easy…Louie B.), but anyone in his orbit knows that he is an unreliable narrator when it comes to his teams (Mets too, maybe he just likes orange?). Louie can sell ice to Eskimos and has been trying to sell us on how good Denver is for 40 years. We should find out next week.
- One of my readers once said, “Terry Fontenot is an idiot and a clown and his team building strategy is like a 4-year-old with Legos.” I think that’s lovely ↩︎
Philly Front Office 
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