Philly Front Office

Thursday was the capper to one of the worst weeks I can remember in Philly sports. The Eagles blew a game to the Broncos then got their doors blown off by the Giants and the Phillies were dead fish against the Dodgers losing the NLDS on a walk off panic attack. Even the Flyers decided to get in on the action by losing to the Panthers. 6 losses in 6 days. The worst part though might be listening to everyone fight about who is to blame. Guys, you don’t need to argue! Every single one of you is correct.

It’s Nick Sirianni’s fault. His false detail narrative simply isn’t true when the whole team is getting called for penalties and can’t run an offense.

It’s Rob Thomson’s fault. He can’t make a correct decision to save his life and does things that literally no one familiar with the team would ever even consider.

It’s Jalen Hurts’ fault. Maybe a few less commercials and more time making sure your receivers don’t actively hate you.

It’s Bryce Harper’s fault. Was he even on the NLDS roster? Unfortunately the Swing of His Life was the swing of his life (someone else came up with this, I’ll give credit when I find it).

It’s AJ Brown’s fault. He’s obviously right, but would it kill you to shut the fuck up and stop being so passive aggressive?

It’s Nick Castellanos’s fault. We’ve had enough buddy and that’s even before you blamed us for you forgetting how to baseball.

It’s Kevin Patullo’s fault. The most predictable boring offense in the NFL that wastes all it’s talent is not unsurprising considering this guy has literally no experience.

It’s Howie Roseman’s fault. Maybe beginning the season with no depth and a gaping hole at CB2 was a bad idea? Plus, pay a goddamn real OC.

It’s Dave Dombrowski’s fault. How do you stock an entire line up with white boys too afraid to hit the ball and no one to play CF? Why the hell did Max Kepler and Jordan Romano stay on this team so long?

It’s Jeff Stoutland’s fault. Is there a reason the best running back in the NFL can’t run anymore? Did the entire offensive line forget what they’re doing?

It’s Kevin Long’s fault. Do you hitters have any idea what an approach at the plate is? Do you speak with them other than saying grip it and rip it?

It’s Georgia’s fault. Jalen Carter is out of shape and indisciplined. Kelee Ringo looks like he never played football before.

It’s Daycare’s fault. Brandon Marsh, Bryson Stott, and Alec Bohm combined don’t make an everyday player.

It’s Saquon Barkley’s fault. Maybe spend less time starring in and promoting your own documentary and focus on hitting holes again.

It’s Trea Turner’s fault. Scared to death of the big moment and was completely lifeless at the plate in all but one game.

It’s the officials’ fault. The Denver game was a travesty and Cris Sanchez got robbed of a strike 3 in the 7 the that led to the tying run.

It’s not Sydney Brown’s or Orion Kerkering’s fault. They shouldn’t even be in the games and everyone knows it but the people making decisions.

It’s not DeVonta Smith, Quinyon Mitchell, Cooper DeJean, Harrison Bader, Cristopher Sanchez, Jesus Luzardo, or Ranger Suarez’s fault. It just wasn’t.

It wasn’t the Dodgers, Giants, or Broncos faults. They tried harder, didn’t give up, and actually wanted to win. We didn’t.

I’m sure there are plenty more I’m forgetting. If you blamed anyone this week, rest assured, you were right to do so.

That brings us to to ourselves. It’s our fault. It just is. I’m up at midnight getting mad about everyone else getting mad. We lost. I’m not going to stop caring. Neither are you. So why the hell are we fighting?