The race to the top of the bottom of the standings is a tight one right now with six teams huddled tightly within one loss of the crown and four others lurking within striking distance. No one knows what will happen in these last 8 weeks. The best a team can hope for is that the perfect union of coaching incompetence and lack of talent will lose the day. Of course, even that sometimes simply isn’t enough. We saw it late last year when the Giants screwed themselves by inexplicably beating the playoffs-or-bust Colts. This year, we had Week 10 where the Dolphins and Saints did themselves no favors while the Browns shocked the world by losing to the Jets’ newly created super-team. That’s why you play the games.
Notes:
- The official tie break is Strength of Schedule (“SOS”) rather than head to head, lower the better
- This is a ranking, not the current order
Dishonorable Mention – Atlanta Falcons
- Record: 3-6
- Overview: This is a colossally stupid franchise that must be taken to task even if they are a long shot for the #1 pick. The Falcons have all the virtues the Tank Rank usually rewards like terrible trades, disastrous free agent signings, and the very worst in understanding draft value. What is there to say about a team that signed Kirk Cousins then drafted Michael Penix in the top 10?1 They are also the team that drafted a RB over Jalen Carter and Kyle Pitts ahead of Ja’Marr Chase, Penei Sewell, Patrick Surtain, DeVonta Smith, Micah Parsons, and Rashawn Slater. Their latest shitbomb is trading back into the end of the 2025 first round (#26) to pick James Pearce while giving the Rams their 2026 first round pick. Considering how bad this team is, there’s a strong chance that ends up at #8. Of course, GM Terry Fontenot probably would have taken another QB, RB, or TE with that pick anyway, so it’s not that big of a deal, but still. When I do my owner/franchise rankings at the end of the year, the Falcons will be in a fight for the bottom.
- SOS: .512
- Key Games: Saints (11/23), Jets (11/30), Cardinals (12/21), and Saints (1/4)
#7 – Miami Dolphins (LW: #7)
- Record: 3-7
- Overview: The Dolphins are an inept embarrassment, but that’s due almost completely to organizational incompetence rather than lack of talent. That talent was on display last week over the 2023 Eagles…I mean 2025 Bills who seemed to completely forget how to football. Still, what got into the Dolphins to put it all together? Were they afraid of the trade deadline? Was Chris Grier that annoying? Maybe the talent, effort, and Vic Fangion-ness of Jaelan Phillips was poisoning the locker room? With consecutive unlucky #7s to start the Tank Rank, they are in danger of graduating off the list entirely. The Bengals, Commanders, Falcons, and Cardinals are BEGGING to take their spot.
- SOS: .500
- Key Games: Commanders (11/16), Saints (11/30), and Jets (12/7)
#6 – New Orleans Saints (LW: #3)
- Record: 2-8
- Overview: This was a devastating win for the Saints this week against the Panthers. 6 out of their last 7 games are against non-playoff teams including 5 against teams on this list. This changes their whole trajectory. The schedule was already soft, but I thought they could make it through. That doesn’t work if you are beating the decent teams on the schedule! The race for #5 is very tight with the Raiders, and even though the Saints win the tiebreak, the Raiders schedule has 5 or 6 guaranteed losses on it. The Saints do not have that luxury.
- SOS: .497
- Key Games: Falcons (11/23), Dolphins (11/30), Jets (12/21), Titans (12/28), and Falcons (1/4)
#5 – Las Vegas Raiders (LW: #5)
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Philly Front Office 