My friend and I have a dream of one day owning a bar. Not just any bar mind you, I’m talking about Shiddy’s. Shiddy’s isn’t just a name, it’s an experience. It’s the worst bar you’ve ever been to. You’ll love it. Shiddy drink specials, the Shiddy Burger, and especially, the Shiddy Game of the Week. The Shiddy Game of the Week would feature a terrible matchup and put the rooting focus on all the negative. For football, there’s a board on the wall that counts down the Shiddy 4 of a fumble, interception, intentional grounding, and the backup QB getting game action (the anticipation of a warning backup would be palpable). If the Shiddy 4 hits, you drink the Shiddy Beer of the Week1 free the rest of the game. Shiddy’s wants you to have a shitty time.
Shiddy’s was MADE for games like this weekend: Tank Bowl 2025 between the New York Giants and Las Vegas Raiders.
The Tennessee Titans did everyone a favor and beat the Kansas City Chiefs this past week. That win punted them to the back of the line at 3 wins and left only the Giants and Raiders at 2 wins and the top contenders for the #1 pick in the NFL Draft. Well, hot damn, wouldn’t you know it, they just happened to be playing this week! My friends, this is a classic Highlander situation, there can be only one.2
New York Giants
at
Las Vegas Raiders
December 28, 2025 – 4pm – Allegiant Stadium
Both teams come into this matchup at 2-13 and losers of 9 in a row. Each team was tested last week with the Giants losing by 3 to the Vikings (with a backup QB) and the Raiders losing by 2 to the Texans. That’s what makes this so special, these teams know how to lose. Here’s the tale of the tape.
New York Giants
Jaxson Dart has been evaluated for twice as many concussions as the Giants have wins, 4-2. Those two wins also match the amount of head coaches they have gone through so far this season. Though not having Brian Daboll on the sideline has to help. He may have been an awful head coach, but at least he can’t screw the team out of the #1 pick again (that should have been a firable offense right there).
This is a pretty talentless team at this point. They still have Brian Burns on defense, but he is it as far as blue chippers go. Abdul Carter went from having more porn related suspensions than sacks to 3 in his last 3 games. Dart is a wild card. When he is recklessly throwing his body around, the Giants are frisky. When he isn’t they are unwatchable (like last week’s 7/13 for 33 yards, yikes). That’s not exactly a performance to build on. Are we going to get concussable Dart or boring Dart?
What the Giants need to avoid, and this is their Achilles heel, is wanting to win. They are a young team with a head coach still looking for that first career W. Dart is still going to try his concussed little head off out there and with the Raiders offering VERY little resistance, that might be enough to get them over the hump regardless of their lack of talent.
Las Vegas Raiders
This team isn’t just bad, it’s depressing. Pete Carroll has to be regretting his decision to come back to coaching, they already fired their offensive coordinator after making him the highest paid in the league only 9 months ago, and Geno Smith is still under center because Kenny Pickett was THAT bad. Even though they hung tight with the Texans last week, that was after getting not only shutout against the Eagles but gained the fewest yards in the league this year (75). It’s abysmal.
With Geno Smith under center, no loss is out of reach. Dart may have had a pick and was sacked 5 times last week, but in 14 games Smith leads the league in both INTs (15) and sacks (52). He is damn near always going backwards. To make matters worse, he probably knows he’s playing for the rest of his career right now so he’s pressing.
As awful as Geno has been, the Raiders have one ace up their sleeve and it’s Ashton Jeanty. These offenses have a chance of just punting from 25 to 25 for 60 minutes, unless Jeanty can find a hole. Last week he had a 51-yard run and a 60-yard catch. No one on the Giants can compete with that. This game could easily end 7-3 Raiders with a 50-yard Jeanty score as the difference.
The Stakes
The loser of this game does not automatically get the #1 pick, but it’s pretty damn close as they will be alone with only 2 wins with one week to play. In Week 18 though, the Giants are at home against the Cowboys while the Raiders are at home against the suddenly on their 3rd string QB Chiefs. Their opponents will not only have nothing to play for but will be in the final game of extremely disappointing seasons. If they had the option to not play, they wouldn’t.
If the loser of Tank Bowl goes and wins in Week 18, it would open the door for the Cleveland Browns (assuming they lose out). Of all the teams still in the running for #1, the Browns have the easiest SOS by far at .490, so they would win all tie breaks. Losing this showdown is most important, but they can’t look past the final week of the season.
If you have any ideas for Shiddy’s, please leave them in the comments.
Special thanks to Tankathon for being awesome.
- Schlitz, Red Dog, Icehouse, Natty Ice, Keystone Light…you know, the classics ↩︎
- Oh my god, imagine if it ended in a tie? Shiddy’s would explode. ↩︎
Tank Rank
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The Titans and Saints upended the whole NFL Draft picture with wins this past week. The Raiders and Giants are now on a Week 17 collision course
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There are 4 teams left vying for the #1 pick in the draft with 5 games to go (for most)
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With the Browns beating the Raiders, there was a huge shakeup in the Tank Rank. Was it enough to change #1?
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Tank Rank mostly stays the same this week, but two huge games could change everything for next week.
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After some huge upsets last week, the Tank has been shaken up considerably. Let’s see which fish are floating at the top.
Philly Front Office 
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