Philly Front Office

After the Sixers came back to finally beat the Boston Celtics in 7 games, our gift is a second round date with the Knicks. From one hated city and on the next, Boston and New York are our two biggest adversaries. I don’t want to say rivals, because that implies some kind of mutual respect. There is none of that here; this is pure hatred. Maybe the teams are rivals, but not the cities and certainly not the fans. Who do we hate more though? Let’s break this down…

1: Sixers at Knicks – Monday, May 4 at 8p on NBC/Peacock
2: Sixers at Knicks – Wednesday, May 6 at 7p on ESPN
3: Knicks at Sixers – Friday, May 8 at 7p on Prime
4: Knicks at Sixers – Sunday, May 10 at 3:30p on ABC/ESPN
*5: Sixers at Knicks – Tuesday, May 12 at TBD on TBD
*6: Knicks at Sixers – Thursday, May 14 at TBD on TBD
*7: Sixers at Knicks – Sunday, May 17 at TBD on TBD

* – if necessary

Non-Divisionals

The least relevant of all possible matchups between the three cities is easily Eagles vs. Jets. Jets fans hate themselves enough and need no help from Eagles fans to let them know it. It’s just punching down. The teams have faced off just 13 times ever and the Eagles have won 13. Pity is not something we give out often, but it would be warranted here. They are in their own world.

The Patriots are a completely different story. While the Jets are a non-threat to even their own MetLife co-tenants, the Patriots are a final boss level villain to all sports kind. They cheat, they win, they are unapologetic and always feel as though they are the main character to the NFL story. What really makes Eagles-Patriots so heated is that they possibly cheated their way to a Super Bowl 39 victory over the Eagles, sweet revenge was served in Super Bowl 52 with Nick Foles outdueling Tom Brady in the greatest game ever played, and now Mike Vrabel and Dianna Russini are tampering with AJ Brown. Another Super Bowl showdown is very much possible.

Do we really hate the Yankees? I was born hating the Yankees and loathe their fans, but in a way, I feel bad for them too. How do you feel bad for having 27 World Series rings? Well, is it ever fun to be a Yankees fan? The expectations are World Series or bust every single year. That means just one non-bitter season in the last 25 (unfortunately it was against the Phillies). Imagine never being able to enjoy baseball? You know how Phillies fans have felt the last 3 seasons, just waiting to see if we can make it through the inevitable trip to the playoffs? That’s Yankees fans every season. I want them to lose no matter what, but that’s more out of habit than anything else.

The Red Sox essentially do not factor into our lives at all on an everyday basis. Their fans are not as common as Yankees fans, they are not in our division, and there is no recent playoff history of any kind (unless you remember the 1915 World Series). The closest thing we have to a relationship is mutually hating the Yankees from birth. They committed one grave sin though. In 2004 when they finally won and got one over on the Yankees, my initial happiness for them and the whole story quickly turned when their arrogance morphed them from similarly loveable losers to looking down on us. We were on your side!

Save for the Covid season, the Bruins and Flyers have never shared a division, which is rather odd. Other than their location, my only real bitterness here is that they completed the Boston TitleTown distinction in 2011. Of course, there is no team we have played more than 10 times that we have a lower winning percentage against in history (94-141-21 overall).

The Yankees and Red Sox mostly cancel each other out here making the Patriots the scale tipper.

Eagles at Giants: The Last Day of Giants Happiness

Head-to-Heads

For my 40 plus years on this Earth, there has been no team I hate more than the New York Mets. Something weird has happened the last few years though, I realized that we are not so different. Both Mets and Phillies fans regularly have to deal with coming short of expectations in the worst ways. Any time we feel we can relish in the misery of the other, karma comes quickly for our hubris. This season has been more brutal than any other so far for both teams. What really gets me though, and I hate how much I appreciate this, is that Mets fans have either chosen the more difficult path or have been born into it and refuse to leave. Being a Yankees fan is more satisfying, has more community, and is simply the easier path, yet they chose the Mets. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

The Flyers have played no team more than the Rangers and yet they are 170-173-37 overall. In 11 post season matchups, the Flyers lead 6-5. That’s crazy. The big problem is that the rivalry is mostly dormant with neither team seemingly ever being good at the same time. While we have the Penguins to hate, a heated Rangers Flyers matchup would be awesome. Flyers vs Islanders is barely even a thing anymore despite being fierce in the 70s and 80s.

While the Mets are my personal nemesis, that’s obviously not true for everyone. The real distinction goes to the Giants. Unlike any other rivalry, Giants-Eagles divides friends, towns, and families more than any other I know. Growing up north of Atlantic City, while half my childhood friends are with the Eagles, the other half are Giants fans. We don’t talk on Sundays, at least not cordially. While the rivalry was historically won by the Giants, the last 20 or so years has been almost entirely Eagles sided. Making it more striking is just how pathetic the Giants have been overall for the last 15 years while the Eagles have become one of the model franchises of the NFL. The only problem here is that we may hate the Cowboys more, but it is very close.

To the playoffs at hand, we go from the Celtics to the Knicks. How is the NBA the only league in which the 3 cities fight directly? This should be a bitter rivalry every year, except it plays out more like the elevator scene in Mad Men than anything. The Celtics don’t think about us at all (at least before this past week). While the Celtics have lost their last two playoff series to the Knicks and Sixers, they have won 4 titles since the last one for the Sixers (1983) and 7 since the last one for the Knicks (1973). It’s a killer that this is so one sided. The Celtics are consistently good and routinely make us look stupid (see Markel Fultz, Jayson Tatum, and Al Horford). The Knicks and Sixers have just been slap-fighting for decades. It doesn’t help that Jalen Brunson, Mikal Bridges, and even Karl-Anthony Towns are devoted Eagles fans.

The Brooklyn Nets exist, I think.

Though the Giants have been on a competitive downturn for over a decade, they are still consistent rivals. If the Celtics and Mets cancel each other out, then the Giants give the edge to NYC despite being doormats.

Knicks at Sixers: New York Wanted Cash, Not Dr. J

The Fans

Let’s face it, no team would be nearly as bad without the fans. Yankees fans are so obnoxious that they don’t even need to open their mouths to be identified. The smugness that comes with the pinstripes usually permeates the room with their very presence. That being said, they’ve always been that way. Complaining about New Yorkers being terrible is like getting mad that you get wet when sitting by the pool. It comes with the territory. Red Sox fans weren’t always this bad though. Every year for decades a helping of humble pie each October kept their inner Masshole at bay. After 2004 though, there was simply nothing to hold it back.

All the success that has come since then has inflated the Boston fan’s self-esteem to a point where they can’t accept defeat under any circumstances. One of the things we pride ourselves on as a Philly fans is never blaming anyone but ourselves for a loss. We believed this time would be different and that’s on us. Of course there may have been bad officiating, some kind of inexplicable bounce, or the other team was recording our practices, but that’s what happens. Our team didn’t do enough and we lost. That’s all. Boston fans though, yikes. As we are currently seeing from Jaylen Brown, they need to have someone to blame. It can’t be their fault. There needs to be an excuse somewhere like Nick Foles was in an illegal formation, Jayson Tatum got hurt, or Joel Embiid gets an easy whistle. New York doesn’t really do this. Mets fans are currently crucifying their GM for his decisions and other than the Eagles fucking with the Giants at the end of the 2020 season, they know their losses are on their terrible coaches and decision makers. Even the Yankees who very much have a gripe against the Astros for cheating in the ALCS back in 2017 don’t insult themselves by claiming they “actually” won.

So, while New York is more realistic when they lose, they are also far more delusional about winning. After the baseball offseason, every Met fan I know completely forgot that it was the Mets they were rooting for. Yankees fans truly believe they will win every single season no matter how little they can play defense when it matters. Jaxson Dart has a pulse and cool hair so they are Super Bowl bound, right? My Knicks fan friend immediately got cocky after their destruction of the Hawks. Boston seems to know when to believe. They have the championships to back it up too.

Sixers vs Celtics: The Legend of the #3 Pick

Verdict

Going through all this, it is very close. I think I hate Boston more, but it might be because I don’t live in the area anymore. An Eagles friend who lives in Tampa agreed with me while the North Jersey residenced JoeyBets didn’t hesitate to label New York. He deals with delusional Giants fans every day. He has to hear them bash Jalen Hurts, claim Super Bowls they didn’t deserve, and then default to being Yankees fans when all else fails. It’s a tough call.