UPDATE: The Rams signed Aaron Donald. They were already #1 on the list, but that solidifies their hold
Welcome to the 2nd annual1 NFL Hate List!!! An ESSENTIAL part of the Philadelphia Eagles experience is having all sorts of grudges across the NFL landscape. Sometimes it feels like there are too many to keep up with and then just when you think you’ve hit your limit with petty grudges, BAM, some player or pundit opens their mouth and you realize that you have limitless capacity. Let’s get things organized, shall we? There are quite a few changes from last year’s list, so we have no time to lose…
Honorable Mentions:
- Washington Football Team: Last year the hate was hot and heavy to start the season considering the false sense of accomplishment their fan base had after getting annihilated in the NFC Championship Game. Then the season started and NOTHING went right. Well now the Commies have cleaned house and expectations have completely disappeared for Jayden Daniels. That doesn’t mean we don’t know the narrative could pick up at any moment though. The media crowned him once already and they will again at the first opportunity. They really just seem like they stink though. Head to Head: Week 1 and Week 8
- The Ringer and the Other Anti-Eagles Pundits and Publications: Looking straight at you Steven Ruiz (and Michael Pina when we do the NBA next month). DO NOT let the Philly Special Podcast fool you into thinking that is a balanced publication. With the exception of Zack Lowe2, that outlet is packed with nothing by sniveling wiener Boston and New York guys who are ready to slam, slight, gloss, or completely ignore anything good coming from Philadelphia. Even when they are forced to cover something objectively good and praiseworthy like LeBron James or the Eagles Super Bowl wins, they will always find a way to take it down a peg. They try to claim coverage generally as fairness, but that’s just their built-in camouflage for being biased DHs. This goes for most of the other anti-Philly talking heads out there too like Emmanuel Acho, Chase Daniel, and Chris Simms who can’t get Jalen Hurts out of their attention seeking mouths. Head to Head: Every week
- QB Rankings: It’s not that we hate Josh Allen, Justin Herbert, and Joe Burrow, we just hate how they are covered. Those three especially have never done anything wrong under center and it’s enough to make you hit your head against the wall. We went from praising QBs for their leadership and winning ability to blaming everyone else but the most important position in football. Throwing deep into traffic is a bad thing that just as often results in these guys losing games instead of winning it. Not being able to have a sustained drive at the end of the game to keep the other team off the field is just as important as being able to score in three plays. These professional flaws are regularly ignored. Burrow has at least been to a Super Bowl, and Josh Allen lost one of the best playoff games ever to Mahomes, but Herbert has one of the shortest resumes in football. Needless to say, every time a ranking tells us how great they are and how bad Jalen is, rage builds. Head to Head: Every week
5 – New York Giants
I’m not going to lie, my hate had cooled on the Giants to the point that they began this list as an honorable mention. Then Jaxson Dart was “puzzled” over why he’s always in the medical tent for concussion protocol and Cam Skattebo questioned whether asthma was real and I remembered that these two are worshipped by a particularly starved fan base who will gas them up no matter how awful they are. Throw in the false sense of professionalism that comes with a Harbaugh brother who has done nothing but underachieve for the last 15 years despite constantly fielding loaded rosters, and you have a recipe for obnoxiousness that should cool down around Week 10 when the team is half injured and half in open revolt. Those ten weeks are going to be as annoying as hell though.
Oh yeah, they also have the worst owner in the NFL! /
Head to Head: Week 9 and Week 18
4 – SF 49ers
Hating San Francisco is an evergreen emotion. We lost to them in the playoffs last year despite being the better team. Granted that’s more on AJ Brown and Kevin Pattullo, but it still hurts. Now Deebo Samuel is back and even if he is washed it won’t stop him from running his damn mouth. He’s just one of the annoyances too with fake tough guy Trent Williams, Mr. No One Questions His Hold-In Christian McCaffrey, and everyone’s least favorite a-hole Nick Bosa all still around. What kills me most though is Kyle Shanahan. He is the Josh Allen of Head Coaches, getting heaps of credit for an offense that is regular season good but playoff weak every year. At some point, you have to win in order to live up to the credit you regularly receive, right?3
Head to Head: Week 17
3 – Dallas Cowboys
Old reliable will never not be on the list. I take comfort in hating them, them hating us, and their attempted defense of “Five Rings” despite the last one being old enough to be divorced with several children and thinning hair. The truth is that they are now our little brothers. Their season is measured by how they do against the Eagles because despite winning the Super Bowl being their stated goal, it isn’t ever a realistic one. It’s adorable.
Of course, there was also last season’s opening week spitting incident. Did you see the look on Dak’s face when he realized he had been the one to goad Jalen Carter into an ejection? That’s true hatred fuel. You can guarantee that Carter is licking his lips for revenge and we are all here for that bloodlust. Dak seems to be above league wide scrutiny. Good for him. We all know what he’s like come playoff time. Has to be the least scary big numbers guy in the NFL (apologies Justin Herbert).
Then there’s Christian Parker. Sorry my guy, there’s one place you don’t go. So help me if you make their defense competent. I wish nothing but the worst for him (he can come back any time though).
Head to Head: Week 7 and Week 12
2 – New England Patriots
The ONLY reasons they aren’t #1 is because we don’t play them this season and we aren’t in the same conference. The AJ Brown hate is VERY real. The better he does this season will only make it worse too. No, that isn’t because he isn’t on the Eagles; none of us want him. It’s because that just makes him quitting on the team last year that much obvious. Make no mistake, the Eagles likely would have defeated SF in the playoffs had it not been for Brown and his drops/route running. He had checked out while the team was still in contention and left points and playoff wins on the field. That’s inexcusable.
We haven’t even gotten to the Mike Vrabel / Diana Russini of it all yet either. The whole thing was an orchestrated hit job by the Pats against the Eagles and the NFL protected them. Maybe that’s how we got a 1st round pick for Brown in the end as some type of compromise, but still.
Plus, as always, F*** Boston. They managed the easiest schedule in the world last year followed by the easiest road to the playoffs, and then got their junk kicked in at the Super Bowl and yet they are the darlings of the NFL. The Eagles have to go through Shawshank-esque stretches of bullshit and we are still taken down by everyone with a microphone. The Patriots do the opposite and get the opposite. It’s all very predictable.
Head to Head: Preseason Week 2
1 – LA Rams
Public Service Announcement to all Seahawks fans who hate the Eagles and think the feeling is mutual: We don’t hate teams that win. If you can tell anything by this list, we hate the teams that do NOT win and act like they have. That’s why you are absent and the Rams are #1.
The Eagles have done nothing but handle the Rams throughout the entirety of Sean McVeys coaching tenure. He’s the genius though. He has a “superteam” but gets all the credit. The Eagles’ “superteam” isn’t actually any good though and wins despite their coach and QB. Do I have that right? Now add Myles Garrett, Trent McDuffie, and likely Aaron Donald to the roster and the rest of the league is just supposed to stop playing as they run away with a title. That’s the kind of bullshit that gets you a number one ranking. Although, I will say, being the #1 most hated is where I want the Eagles to be for other teams.
The smugness that comes from Rams fans though is what kills me though. It’s an entitlement that comes from things being good after your team left you for 20 years. Do you ignore the Kurt Warner history like you ignore the offseason of your AAA WR? That being an alcoholic, antisemite, who also assaults women? Five A’s if you want to add a-hole and the word allegedly to all the previous accusations. Puka’s a real peach.
The Seahawks are the best team in football and certainly the best team in the NFC. The Rams are not. Yet all anyone wants to talk about is LA. It’s nauseating.
Head to Head: Week 4
Photo: The 621st Contingency Response Wing, CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
- Looks like the last time I did this was during the 2024 season. I had one ready to go for last year but apparently never published it. What the hell? ↩︎
- He is the undisputed and unimpeachable best thing about the Ringer and we were all worse off for the year he was forced to go without talking about the NBA ↩︎
- I’m not saying he’s bad by any means, just like I’m not saying that about Allen. Neither has learned from any mistakes though and continually fail in the same spots. That’s being thick headed, not creative. ↩︎
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